The Perfect Approach

“Five Feet. Four Seconds. Three Steps. Two People. One Word.” – source unknown

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You ever have the feeling after making eye contact with someone and you just knew that you were instantaneously attracted to him or her? Your brain realizes this and defying all logic, it instructs your feet to move towards the person and your mouth to say something… Anything to start a conversation with that person.

But then rational thought kicks in and self-doubt floods your brain. Those once vivid visions of connecting with that person are now replaced by visions of flat-out cold rejection or worse being completely ignored.

For some reason or another, whether its being crippled by the fear of rejection/failure, humiliation, limiting beliefs and a million other reasons why you shouldn’t at least say “Hello” to a person stops you dead in your tracks completely. And then we feel bad and kick ourselves afterwards for not doing anything.

Some of the following excuses you made might sound familiar:

• I’m not confident enough
• I’m not good looking enough
• What if that person pointed and laughed at me?
• This ain’t the movies. This is real life and stuff like that never happens!
• But I don’t know what I’d say afterwards
• I’m not good at small talk
• Holy shit, I think I’d pee my pants if I even tried to do something like that!
• Etc, etc.

Our imagination is a wonderful thing, but in situations like that, it is more of a liability than an asset to us if we combine it with visions of self-doubt. We are too caught up in our own heads thinking of the perfect approach, or the perfect opening of how to start a conversation. Let go of the notion of perfect anything and just take a chance and go for it! Instead, embrace the present moment and harness that initial attraction and gut instinct to your own advantage and start that conversation.

There never will be a perfect approach.  Sure you might stumble, but at least you’re being authentic and coming from a place of honesty. More often than not, the person will be flattered by your being bold, direct and sincere about your intentions.

So what if he/she turns out to have a significant other? At least you took the chance and put yourself out there and found out for yourself. Then you wouldn’t be kicking yourself for not doing anything. Then you can reflect on it and know that you at least tried and took action rather than being crippled by fear. You’re doing what 90% of people normally wouldn’t have the guts to do.  You are a doer, not a person who stands by the sidelines, wishing and hoping that something might happen.

We make it more complicated than it really is in terms of sparking a conversation.  Take a chance and Just. Say. Hi.

What were some of the thoughts that have run through your head when wanting to initiate conversation with a person you found attractive?

Other articles you might like:

How to Break Through Shyness and Meet New People

Quick Fixes to Change Your Results Instantly

How to Set Up a Fantastic First Date

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