How to Set Up a Fantastic First Date
August 14, 2009 by Will
Filed under Dating Tips
Assuming that you got the contact info of the person you’re interested in, you may be thinking, “Soo…. now what?” And if there’s enough interest in each other to warrant seeing each other again outside of where you first met, there might be some anxiety and nervousness – which is natural and well… good! Because you’re acting in spite of those feelings to set the wheels in motion to see each other again.
Setting It Up
Whether you’re setting up a date over phone, text or email, your message should convey fun, warmth, non-neediness, and a concrete plan of what you’ll be doing during your date.
Here’s an example of a typical call or email to set things up:
“Hey (insert person’s name *Big Smile*) !
I really enjoyed meeting you the other day. I know this awesome place for (coffee/drinks) – we should totally meet up sometime. My schedule is looking good on (whatever days are free for you). What’s your schedule looking like?”
If it’s a classier place that you’re suggesting, you might want to point that out as well so that your date has an idea of how to dress for the occasion.
Choosing the venue
Yes, choosing your venue can play a role in the “success” of your date. If you’re the one choosing the venue and inviting your date into your world to get to know you better, why not choose a place that you’ve been to before and invite your date into an environment that you’re familiar and comfortable with? By choosing a venue that you’re already familiar with and relaxed in, it allows your date to feel relaxed and comfortable as well, which is key in really connecting and getting to know each other beyond surface level.
If you’ve been to the place a few times, it helps to build a relationship with the owner or staff, which can convey that you’re friendly, outgoing and connected. Also, you can cut through all the guess work of what’s good, fun and interesting. You can fill your date in on the details and how you stumbled upon the place.
If there’s one thing to remember keep this in mind!
Long gone are the days of the unofficial and dreaded courtship ritual of dinner and a movie. There’s too much pressure for both sides to get to know, impress and qualify each other. Combine that with the time commitments on our already over-packed schedules, it can be awkward and make your first date resemble an interview or business meeting. Putting at least some effort in making your date fun, creative and a little more original can set you apart from everyone else. What it should really feel like is…. dynamic, natural and fun.
Something to note is that you shouldn’t just rely on that one place – if things fall through, you should have at least another venue in mind.
Once you’ve agreed to the time and place you should be aware of “The 3 C’s of the First Date”
What are “The 3 C’s”?
Your date should be Cheap, Convenient and Conducive to conversation (okay so there are 4 “C’s, let’s just pretend there’s three, okay? 
Cheap – You don’t have to break the bank to connect with the person you’re going out on a date with. Hanging out together should be relatively inexpensive and act as the backdrop for both of you to connect. This could be the classic coffee date, meeting up for a drink or two, checking out a community festival, sharing some gelato, and/or having a stroll in the park, boardwalk, art gallery, etc.
Going out on a cheap date doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re cheap. If you’re part of the majority of people who are short on time and somewhat conscious of your money, spending lavishly might make the other person feel uncomfortable or indebted to you, which is counter-productive. In addition to that, you don’t want to set a precedent of spending lavishlty just to impress your date.
Convenient – Unless you’re living in the same city, this is self-explanatory. You should choose a venue or place that’s relatively easy to get to, ensuring that your date can start at the agreed time and get things going as easily as possible. If you’re living in different cities and you still want to see each other, make some arrangements in advance to make it easier to happen
Conducive to Conversation – the place that you choose should allow the two of you to have a relaxed conversation at a reasonable volume to better get to know each other. On the flip side, I’d go so far as avoiding movies or doing anything that doesn’t encourage conversation with you and your date. If you’re going to watch a show, you can do it alone.
Patios, cafes, parks, lounges or even going out on a shopping date to help pick up something for yourself can keep things fresh, vibrant and fun to keep the conversation flowing.
Showtime!
After you decide on a venue, dress to the occasion, show up on time (this is huge in so many ways) and as cliché as it may sound – just be yourself.
Take the lead as you’re letting your date have a glimpse of your own world, fill your date in on the details, nuances and fun little quirks of the venue or whatever you’re doing.
Focus on getting to know the other person to get out of your head, and naturally convey who you are with the power of your authenticity and personality. When you’re outside of your head, genuinely enjoying the company across from you, all the things that would normally pre-occupy your thought process of being nervous or worrying about what your date thinks about you is bypassed.
Recap:
• Show genuine interest in your date
• Show up on time (seriously!)
• If you’re inviting your date out, be prepared to take the lead – after all, you’re giving you’re date a glimpse into your own world.
• Choose a venue you’re comfortable with – knowing the staff there really helps!
• Have back up plans in case something falls through
• Keep it Cheap, Convenient and Conducive to conversation
• Relax, be yourself, don’t push for an outcome other than getting to know your date
• Last and most important – have fun! It’s contagious
Let us know what you think of what makes for a great first date by sharing your thoughts in the comments below
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